(Brace yourself for many, many exclamation marks in this one!!!)

It was the 14th of December 2020. As I mentioned my due date was the 17th so I was well prepared to have my baby boy (or so I thought 🙄). I decided to go with the Castor Oil method to get things moving or to at least see if it would make a difference. I had been drinking raspberry leaf tea for about 3 weeks before my due date, as well as eating dates, as I read that they are known to help speed up labour. I was also prematurely pumping my breasts to try and stimulate my nipples (the sensation is supposed to emulate the feeling of a baby sucking to trick the body into starting labour. I WAS READY TO HAVE THIS BABY!!! )

On that Monday evening of the 14th around 8 pm, I took 4 tablespoons of Organic Castor Oil from Holland & Barrot. 🏬 As I said in the previous blog, my cousin told me about the effect it had on her sister-in-law, claiming that after taking 2 tablespoons she had her baby the next day. “Hmm okay, so if I take this now, bubba will be here by tomorrow evening”. Lol cool. It was not that. 🙄

Of course, I did my own research on the effects of Castor Oil when ingested and the internet was telling me that it was super effective for inducing labour however it was also a super-powerful laxative! 💩 So that night, I went to sleep around 10 pm as I was very tired obviously and was abruptly woken up around 12 am on the 15th by that feeling. I knew what I was expecting so I wasn’t about to be tricked into '“passing wind”. I made my way to the bathroom and without going into too much detail… let’s just say that the chances of me pooing whilst giving birth was mighty low because I was absolutely CLEARED OUT. All I can say about that experience right there was, “whew”. 😅

After my insides were drained out of me, I tried to go back to bed but my belly was saying “…i.. think we need…to go back to the bathroom”. So I listened but nothing was happening. I wasn’t sure if the pain was the castor oil or… contractions!!! I went back to bed, and the pains continued. They were very mild so nothing to chat with anyone about. The pain was getting worse and worse, at this point, I could identify that these were in fact contractions. I woke my mum up around 4 am as the pain increased.

After waking my mum up, she started to time my contractions. They were quite inconsistent in duration. No indication as to how close or far I was from active labour. Nothing to work with at all. It was all down to me to relay the increase in pain. From what I can remember, period pains never usually licked me. Before falling pregnant, I would experience one or two mild cramps that would let me know that my period was about to begin, yes I know, I’m one of God’s favourites. I am so sorry to all you women that have to experience pain like those early contractions, every month. 😭 I would describe this pain as LOUD ELECTRICAL ENERGY. It felt like there was something drilling into my pelvis. ABSOLUTELY AWFUL. I just remember being shocked at the initial pain from each contraction, then adjusting myself, breathing through it and mentally getting over it, only for the next one to be 5X more painful!!! I used my birthing ball, I got on my knees and even got in the bath, all were great until they were useless. My mum was such a great help too, she helped me to stay in control of myself. She soothed me, rubbing my back and telling me to breathe through each contraction. She got me to visualise this new soul bursting through our atmosphere, which was so helpful until again, it wasn’t anymore. 🪐

CONTRACTIONS AT 4:48 !

I had heard of many stories, where women would go to the hospital thinking they were in active labour, only to be sent home; that wasn’t going to be me. I made sure I couldn’t handle the pain for any longer before going anywhere. I knew when it was time to make a move, I was ready to go! We had already phoned my midwife and I was beginning to feel what felt like the baby’s head was bearing down. There was so much pressure!!

The time was now near 6am, I had tried to phone my partner several times before, to let him know what was going on but he was fast asleep. 💤 I gave him a warning in regards to me taking the castor oil, telling him that I think we were going to be having a baby soon, earlier that night but he obviously didn’t take me seriously. But to be fair, I had told him the same thing some days before on a couple of occasions. So I guess I was the boy who cried wolf🤷🏾‍♀️ He eventually picked up the phone!!! 📞 By the time he had arrived, I had gotten out of that useless bath and was laid on my parent’s bed, still naked! He greeted me with a kiss on the forehead, got down on his knees and was holding me through the current contraction. I’m not even going to lie, he is an absolute pain in the neck on a regular day but he provided just the perfect amount of comfort that morning. 💕

We ended up calling the ambulance, my mum was not prepared to be delivering my baby and I desperately needed some sort of pain relief. It took around 30 mins for the paramedics to get to us. It was around 7:15. When I got up, I noticed the mucus plug smeared underneath me, It really did look like snot with a hint of blood, 🩸 We grabbed everything we needed and headed out. I hadn’t gotten dressed after getting out of the bath, so I threw on a vest with my dressing gown and left! 😳 My partner joined me in the ambulance, whilst my mum followed us.

Being in the ambulance was an experience in itself. The only time I had been in one before this, was when I assisted my mum when she was in labour with my youngest brother. It was a caucasian man who drove, while a caucasian woman was in the back with us. While the pain was continually progressing, she was asking me all these questions, LIKE WOMAN, PLEASE LEAVE ME. She was so insensitive and unhelpful too, oh my gosh. At one point, she even told me to calm down!!!!! I couldn’t believe it. I was so mad and really wanted to cuss her, but the pain I was in, just told me to let it go. She honestly was not worth the energy! I understand that paramedics are not specifically trained for labour, but it wouldn’t hurt to have some lessons in empathy.

I gave the gas and air a try and again, super useful until it wasn’t. It helped me to feel spaced out and even distracted me for the most part of the journey. But by the end, it just got annoying having something in my hand. I just couldn’t use it anymore. The woman then offered me paracetamol… paracetamol?! ❓❓❓(Of course I took it! Anything to try and ease this pain!!!)

By the time we arrived, I was in agony!!! I was so convinced that his head was right there, I WAS READY TO PUSH! (Even writing this, has me feeling a way!. THAT PAIN) The paramedic told me she couldn’t see anything, so I wasn’t ready, but I was listening to my body and she told me IT WAS TIME. At this point, I was shouting in pain!! The initial plan was for me to have a water birth, but everything happened so fast, there was no way they could run that bath in time for this baby. We got into the birth centre and got checked to see how far I was dilated. (Sorry, but why didn’t anybody tell me how bloody painful that check is!? It felt like her hand was reaching inside of me. It was so violating. And her hand was still up there as a contraction was starting OH MY GOODNESS.

I WAS 10cm DILATED!!! It was go-time. As the nurse said this, my mum arrived! I had my two birthing partners by my side. They both had roles: my mum was encouraging me, being my supportive cheerleader, while my partner, quietly but softly rubbed my back and held my hand. I really couldn’t have asked for a better team. 💕 The nurse told me that on the next contraction, I needed to push. So I did…

HUH?!!?

I just remember thinking “How on earth am I going to do this!?!?” It was like trying to push out a football-sized poo!!! ⚽️ 💩 I tried and tried for the life of me but nothing was happening. 😭 I didn’t have the energy to push and push. I just wanted to get this whole thing OVER and DONE with. That contraction passed and I waited for the next one.

I PUSHED FOR MY LIFE.

There was no way I was spending too much time doing this. I felt like my body was being VIOLATED. I officially did the impossible and squeezed his head out. A human head. Not a joke. I was very aware of the causes of vaginal tearing, pushing at the wrong time being the main one. So when the midwives told me to stop and wait, I did just that. 🛑 That meant I had to lay there, with a baby’s head hanging out of me. I couldn’t believe it. My baby was in limbo. I was about to give birth to my son. A small, small contraction was the only thing between me and my baby.

I felt the next one coming. I got ready and two loud screams later…

HE WAS HERE. 8:06. 15th December 2020. 6lbs 9oz. 👶🏽

Pushing his body out just felt so foreign, like it was just wrong. I honestly don’t know what felt worse: the contractions, getting his head out or getting his body out. It was all mad. And this all happened in 16 minutes!

My baby was born and placed onto my chest and I really didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t get that hormonal, motherly rush of “in-love” feelings like you hear everywhere. Of course, I was super excited to meet our baby. but I was so traumatised by what had just happened, I just needed to breathe. I wanted to cry but THE ENERGY WAS NOT THERE. The baby’s cry was super quiet, so the midwives were concerned. I wasn’t worried though, not sure if this was because I was spaced out or if I just knew there was nothing to worry about. My partner cut the umbilical cord and they took him away to give him oxygen. I laid there, exhausted. I just wanted everything to be done, but it wasn’t. I needed to push out the afterbirth.

My vagina was TIRED. She had just put in the hardest shift of her life and was being told that she had overtime to do! Pls. The midwives were tugging on the cord, to try and shimmy it out. Half an hour later, with a simple cough, BLOOP the placenta plopped out. YOU’D THINK IT’S OVER AT THIS POINT!! Nope. They then had to have a good ole’ rummage, to check to see if I had torn. I couldn’t believe it. I thought I felt violated, but that absolutely took the cake. Imagine scraping your knee on concrete, then someone coming along, laying their palm flat on it and rubbing aggressively. Yeah, multiply that by 10. Again, I couldn’t believe it. The midwife gave me the good news: I didn’t tear! That didn’t mean my girly wasn’t still in tremendous pain.

By the time everything was all done, I was able to waddle over to finally see my son’s face. Literally everyone else saw him before me. My little alien 😂👽

My Prince Zion Joseph. I was officially a mother. Hence, the next chapter of my life.

Signed,

A Young Mum

You already know by now!

If you have any questions, send them in the comment section below!

Next post out next Friday @ 12 pm!

🤍